Spouse in the House

Author: Cynthia Ruchti/Becky Melby
Genre: Christian Living/Marriage

A frank and funny look at what to do when together is too close

Two's company, especially for those who love each other. So what happens when--due to retirement, working from home, or even running a business together--spouses find that being in the same space all the time is awkward, complex, annoying, and just plain challenging? How can partners co-exist without co-exhausting each other?

Cynthia Ruchti and Becky Melby know all too well how adjusting to a new, all-the-time closeness can cause the bliss of marriage to form blisters. Drawing from their experiences, and from men and women across the country in the same situation, the authors take a deep breath and dive into the root causes of the discomfort. They dig into the ways God's Word addresses the topic, and they offer practical tips for learning the spiritual, emotional, relational, and even physical steps that can help readers replace irritation with peace.
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For any Christian who wants their home to be a refuge of peace and serenity for all--not just themselves--and who wants to know they aren't alone in the mental and physical claustrophobia of too much togetherness, Spouse in the House is a vulnerable, charming, and pragmatic breath of hope.

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Reviewer: Mary Polyakov

Spouse in the House by Becky Melby and Cynthia Ruchti presents both hard truths and encouragement for couples who find themselves in what these authors called the “He’s Home All The Time club” and the “She’s Home All The Time club.” Within these pages, the authors share what they’ve learned and offer an alternative to these mindsets called the “We’re Home All The Time club,” an approach that focuses on the closeness and merging that, with effort and unselfishness, can arise from togetherness. 

Changing one's mindset was touched upon in meaningful ways, as this quote shows:

“When you own [versus rent] your marriage, you get to ask the big questions: What’s your goal for your marriage? What will it take to reach that goal? As mentioned in an earlier chapter, one wise couple eventually realized ‘we wanted the same thing in our marriage—loving each other.’ Knowing your goal—to glorify God with your life as individuals and as a couple—can help establish boundaries, encourage problem-solving techniques, and change the atmosphere in a together-all-the-time home.”

For the unmarried, I found fewer applications, but the book offers some insights and practical applications for familial relationships, with showing grace and humility and caring for others when much sacrifice is involved. Making sure that others feel welcome when they walk in the door was one point that really stood out and challenged me. 

I did wish some more sides of this topic had been addressed, and there were some things that could be taken as inappropriate humor. On the whole, though, this book does what it sets out to do, and educates and entertains along the way.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher through Interviews and Reviews. A positive review was not required. 

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